(December 30, 2020) Monday, December 28, 2020. To start off the final week of this difficult year, I decide to go to morning Mass at my parish church. I also decide before leaving the house that I will spend an hour in prayer after Mass, commonly known as a Holy Hour, to pray for my family specifically and the world in general. I’ve attempted Holy Hours in the past but rarely made it for the entire
hour. Either I have fallen asleep, I’ve been distracted by other people in the church, or I’ve felt restless. Today I am determined to stay and pray the whole hour.
Father Jim celebrates the Mass and makes these points in his homily:
“Do you know someone who keeps getting hit? They can’t seem to catch a break. They’re dealt one blow after another. The Holy Family was like that. First there’s the shocking news of Mary being pregnant, and Joseph isn’t the father of the child. The angel reassures Joseph that the child was conceived by the Holy Spirit and tells him to take Mary as his wife. So then they have to make the journey to Bethlehem. When they arrive, there is no place for them to stay, and Jesus is born in a stable. Then they hear of Herod trying to hunt Jesus down to destroy Him, so they flee from Bethlehem to Egypt and live as immigrants. They have no idea how long they’ll have to stay there – the angel just told Joseph to ‘stay there until I tell you’ (See Matthew 2:13- 18). So, even Jesus, who is the Son of God, is born amidst turmoil. His family encounters one difficulty after another. And yet Joseph and Mary never complain. They listen to the messages sent by God and trust that God is in control. They do what they are asked to do without complaining.”
Mass continues as usual and, afterwards, the other congregants and Father Jim leave, and I have the whole quiet church to myself. Here are some thoughts that come to me, either during my time in church or while writing this reflection:
I start with simple prayers to quiet my mind. I pray “St. Michael the Archangel, protect us in battle” to remind myself that I am being protected. I pray “Jesus, I trust in You” slowly and repeatedly to help me slow down and relax for this hour. After a few moments I remember the rosary in my purse and carefully take it out. As I pray the rosary I picture my husband, each of our kids, their spouses, and their children, and ask God to bless them. I picture Jesus and Mary wrapping their arms all around them, individually and collectively, and hugging them. A kind of cloud colored in silver and blue surrounds all of them, an aura of love that is covering them and filling them with love and peace. All through the rosary this image remains.
After praying the rosary I sit in silence for a little while and think about Father Jim’s homily. The phrase “Mary and Joseph don’t complain” stays with me. Unlike Mary and Joseph, we tend to
complain, don’t we? We stress and worry over difficult situations, and yet that worry accomplishes absolutely nothing valuable. Jesus invites us to “come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). Jesus wants us to let Him wrap us in His love. He wants us to ask Him for guidance and help with our struggles. He wants us to remember that following His way and His laws will bring us peace. I thank God for this reminder and ask Him to help me remember this.
During this Holy Hour, the wedding at Cana comes to mind. Mary finds out that the couple has run out of wine. We don’t know how she finds out – maybe she overhears a frantic conversation between the groom and his parents? She doesn’t worry; she goes to Jesus for help. She doesn’t tell Him what to do but simply says to Him, “They have no more wine” (John 2:3). Jesus tells the waiters to fill the jugs with water, they do what He tells them without complaining, and Jesus turns the water into wine (see John 2:1-11). He saves the bride and groom from embarrassment thanks to Mary’s intercession. Jesus takes advantage of a seemingly impossible situation for the couple and turns it into something good: the first miracle of His public ministry. “God works for the good for those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). The same is true with us and our struggles. Worrying won’t solve anything. Instead of trying to control and manipulate every detail around our problem and figure it out all by ourselves, we can do what Mary did: tell Jesus what’s going on and trust that He will take care of it, in His own way. We can also ask Mary to intercede for us, like she did for the newlyweds at Cana. I take some time to tell Jesus what’s on my mind and ask Mary to ask Jesus to help us.
Waiting for answers can be difficult. As time passes, we feel the worry creep back in. We worry also when our prayer is answered differently from how we wanted it to be. We may be tempted to think God doesn’t hear us or doesn’t care about us; neither of these is true. Just like a loving parent gives what is good to their child – which may be different from what the child asks for – so, too, God answers our prayers in His love (see Isaiah 55:8-9).
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you…If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” (see Matthew 7:7-11).
In his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie tells of a conversation he had with Henry Ford: “When I asked him (Ford) if he ever worried, he replied, ‘No. I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe that everything will work out for the best in the end. So, what is there to worry about?’“
HOW do we stop worrying? It may be easier said than done. Sometimes it means praying for guidance and help from God while doing what we can to work toward a solution. We pray to do well on an exam – to keep our mind clear and focused -- while we study our notes. We pray for guidance in finding a job – knowing where to look and who to contact -- while we send out our resume. We pray for a cure for a health condition -- and take care of our bodies the best we know how -- while we seek medical attention. Prayer and action usually go hand in hand. That’s why we need to make time every day to pray. Make time – schedule it in, as we would any other important appointment. We might pray prayers like, “Jesus, I trust in You” and “God, help me remember that You promise to use all things for our good.” It may help to picture God wrapping His loving arms around us while we let go of our worry. Also, we can picture ourselves turning our back on the dark cloud of worrisome images and turning our face toward the heavens. Sometimes going for a walk, or doing any physical activity we’re able to, helps shake off the worry. We can marvel at God’s magnificent creation around us; turn off outside stressors like social media , the news, or anything else that brings us down; and find a way to volunteer our time, which gets our minds off ourselves and makes someone else’s life a little easier.
In church, I glance at the time and see that an hour has passed already, but I don’t want to leave yet. Something feels unfinished. I close my eyes and a question comes to mind: How can I keep the prayers going for myself and my family while also doing the work I have to do at home? I can pray while I work; who can help me keep these prayers going as if I were still in church? The answer that comes to me: the communion of saints. All the holy men and women who are in heaven can keep this Holy Hour going for me with endless, continuous Holy Hours. And so I ask them to keep praying for me, my family, and all people. I ask them to keep asking God to pour His holy Love, wisdom, and guidance into us and our circumstances, and give us peace -- His peace.
I open my eyes and look around the church. I’m still the only one here. I thank God for this time with Him. I thank Him for all the people and circumstances in my life. I tell Him that I will do my best to stop worrying and, instead, trust Him and seek His wisdom and guidance. I stand up to leave and look at the time: 80 minutes have passed since Mass ended. No problem today staying for the entire hour.
Maybe our New Year’s resolution can looks like this: “Pray continually, and give thanks to God in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18). And if you can make time to spend an hour in a quiet church, I highly recommend it.
This article is a personal reflection by Gina Bedell © 2020. It and other reflections written by her invite the reader to reflect on a given topic and then seek deeper answers through prayer, additional spiritual
reading, and/or consultation with clergy or other persons who may guide the reader to a deeper faith and understanding of God’s love and will for their life.
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