Kindness Not Criticism

 

“Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:3

Children are taught not to point fingers at others’ wrongdoings: “When you point, you have one finger pointed at them and four pointing back at you.” We’re reminded to focus on the good in people, and that we all make mistakes.

When we notice others’ shortcomings while ignoring our own, we create an ‘Us vs. Them’ attitude. We fall into thought patterns like, “He’s bad; I’m good. Look what she did; I would never do that.” This breeds contempt for others and fosters a false sense of innocence in ourselves. It dismisses all the good qualities in them and distracts us from our own need for spiritual growth.

The other problem with noticing the ‘splinter in your brother’s eye’ is that, chances are, you possess the same trait that you find bothersome in that other person. So when you condemn him, you condemn yourself.

All of us have goodness in us, and all of us fall short at times in living out that goodness. Acknowledging this keeps us humble. Humility lets us see ourselves truthfully – not better and not worse than we really are. It makes us understanding and merciful toward others. It motivates us to make changes in ourselves to become more loving people.

Only God can see inside a person’s heart; we can’t. All we can do is love them, not criticize them. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Believe that they’re doing the best they can -- just as we are -- with what they have in that moment. Show kindness when someone’s unkind, lend a hand to someone in need, and forgive those who need to be forgiven.

Ask God for the grace to see the goodness in people. When you find yourself starting to criticize someone, stop your thoughts and silence your words. Look at the person with kindness. Ask the Lord for forgiveness for you, and ask Him to pour His love and blessings on that person. Believe that as He blesses them, He will bless you, too.

“Lord, fill my heart with humility, understanding, and kindness.”

Thank you for reading my reflection. © 2022 Gina Bedell    

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