“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
--Matthew 6:12
You: “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
Me: “That’s OK.”
That’s how it usually goes, right?
Wouldn’t a better response be, “I forgive you”? Saying “That’s OK” doesn’t acknowledge your own pain or your need for forgiveness. By saying “I forgive you” I accept your apology and assure you that I’m willing to put the matter behind us.
Every time we pray the “Our Father” we ask our Lord to forgive us as we forgive others. When we sin – when we do something hurtful to ourselves or someone else – and tell God, “I’m sorry,” He doesn’t say, “That’s OK.” He says, “I forgive you.” We’re to do the same for others.
Forgiveness is an act of the will, not a feeling. (It’s different from reconciliation, which involves both parties.) We choose to forgive someone even if we don’t feel forgiving. We acknowledge the hurt they caused us and decide not to let what was done in the past taint our present. When we forgive, we set ourselves free; we don’t give the offender power over us. Instead, we allow the power of God to release us from our ruminating and the need for revenge. We ask God for the grace to look into the other’s heart and see the goodness there.
What if the offender doesn’t ask us for forgiveness? We can still choose to forgive them, in our hearts.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean giving someone permission to hurt us again. We need to protect ourselves, especially in severe cases.That might mean having an honest conversation with the other person, seeking counseling, or getting out of an abusive relationship. We may have to distance ourselves from someone, or avoid situations that make us vulnerable.
We recall that when people, including us, hurt others, we’re sometimes acting out of our own hurt. So we forgive, and ask for forgiveness. We ask God to heal our hearts and replace our pain with His peace.
With His grace, we’re free to treat others and ourselves with love, mercy, and kindness.
God is waiting to set you free – from bitterness, pain, and the weight of your own sins. Today, Wednesday, March 8, all Catholic churches in the Diocese of Cleveland will be open for the Sacrament of Reconciliation from 5-8 p.m. Remember that Christ is there, hidden by the priest. Whether it’s been a week or a lifetime since your last Confession, you’re invited to ‘begin again’ at any church in the diocese. Let Jesus pour His loving grace and mercy upon you through this wonderful sacrament of freedom, peace, and reconciliation with God.
“Lord, give me the grace and courage to seek Your forgiveness and forgive
others as You forgive me.”
Thank you for reading my reflection. © 2023 Gina Bedell Comments are always welcome!
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p.s.
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